Today, normal school day, went to lessons, forgot my lunch, had a great laugh and an argument with a teacher? :L well, I now have the choice, I either fail maths or performing arts. Every monday we have performing arts rehearsals, but me and a few others didn't do very well in our last GCSE so we are having to resit the exam and a revision lesson is on monday at the same time, which is what we need seen as the exam is tuesday afternoon. But, the problem is, our performing arts teacher believes that he is more important then maths, which is SO not true! In the end, he threw at us 'If you don't turn up on monday, everybody fails!' although, everyone turned around and said they are willing to fail performing arts for those who need maths, but, they shouldn't have to! Not really sure what to do right now, I know definetly that I will go for maths but it's the word 'fail' that makes me shiver .. <33
Thursday, 26 February 2009
Lets get these teen hearts beating faster, faster (L)
Not really sure how to feel right now, it's complicated. All i'm sure of is that i have my friends to keep me standing. i ♥ my crazy goofy stupid gorgeous wierd lame socially challenged friends ;)<33
The Climb. I can almost see it, that dream I'm dreaming but there's a voice inside my head saying you'll never reach it. Every step I'm taking. Every move I make feels lost with no direction. My faith is shaking. But I gotta keep trying. Gotta keep my head held high. The struggles I'm facing. The chances I'm taking. Sometimes might knock me down but no I'm not breaking. I may not know it but these are the moments that I'm gonna remember most. Just gotta keep going and I gotta be strong. Just keep pushing on 'cause there's always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle But Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. Ain't about how fast I get there. Ain't about what's waitin on the other side. It's the climb. These lyrics really show what i'm feeling right now.And posting them here is the easiest way to show you how i'm really feeling.<33
Typicaly obsessed ;) Panic's cover of 'Tonight Tonight', the favorite at this moment in time. 'Time is never time at all, You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth. And our lives are forever changed, You can never be the same, The more you change the less you feel. Believe, believe in me, believe, believe, That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain. We're not the same, we're different Tonight Tonight, tonight, it's so bright Tonight, Ohh tonight And you know you're never sure, But you're sure you could be right, If you held yourself up to the light. And the embers never fade in your city by the lake, The place where Jon Walker was born. So believe, believe in me, believe, believe, In the resolute urgency of now Cause I believe there's not a chance tonight Tonight, tonight, it's so bright Tonight Oh tonight We'll crucify the insincere tonight We'll make it right, we'll feel it all tonight If you believe we'll offer up the night tonight The indescribable moments of your life tonight The impossible is possible tonight So believe in me because I believe in you, tonight, tonight, tonight, oh tonight' <33
RELIEF! I have finally got out of him what was the matter :) it took a little time, but we got there in the end. I'm just rather happy that there is nothing worrying him anymore, not that i know of anyway :/ just to let you know, problem solved.. well, not exactly.. <33
Last night I was doing my usual on the computer for hours talking to friends but at around 11:00pm it changed from being a 'usual' chat. As I said, I chose that one friend to tell about Australia and we spoke about it for ages, good things, bad things, things that even made me cry because I was terrified I am going to loose all the people that I love and care about. When that conversation began to get more into the normal things we talk about, he said that he needed to tell me something so, like a person does, I asked what was wrong, he wouldn't say. Infact i believe his exact words where 'I thought I had the balls to do it, but obviously I don't.' Throughout talking through msn for hours and texting for a few more, this morning I still have no idea what is bugging him. I can't help but think that there is something really wrong. I told him over and over that nothing can break what we have so there is nothing to worry about, and that I love him no matter what happens or what has happened but it still doesn't seem to be enough for him to trust in me. I really don't know what to do now, I have sent him two texts this morning that he hasn't replied to and I'm leaving it now, but I'm still worried sick! I'm really lost for what to do now, i need some advice/help, what shall I do? I believe that maybe the fact of me leaving has changed something and that what they say is true; 'You don't know what you've got untill it's gone'. <33>
11.O2.O9-14.O2.O9 Me and some friends went to France and Belgium with school and in Belgium we had these water bottles which i thought where pretty cool :) (L)
Lately it's been a bumpy road. happy sad calm angry, all in one day. but today i couldn't ever have expected what was dropped on me at once. it felt asif i was in a room filled with people, screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even looks up. School holidays, just as normal; late nights, afternoon wakeups, nothing but food made of fat and sugar. A day out to the shopping centre (Meadow Hall. Sheffield) with mum and sister seemed to put me back into my happy mood which was what i needed. From the lack of sleep moods where very easily changed, trying on lovely clothes and buying the best ones as the usual shopping spree goes, when finished we sat down to have a drink as our usual ritual of the month to talk about everything and anything. When the order arrived we got into a conversation of one of my best friends moving house, so my mum decided that was a good chance to ask me the most rediculous question ever; 'How would you feel about moving to Australia?' i didn't even look at her and replied 'NO!' For ages her and my sister where attempting to convinse with all the 'opertunities' and the 'advantages etc. after they had done failing to persuade, all that would come out of my mouth was 'what about dad?' They moved us twenty minutes away from him around four years ago and he went mental, imagine his reaction when he was told that three of his kids where moving to the other side of the world! i have been told i am only aloud to tell one friend because they are waiting to find out weather they will let us in the country or not, but it's most likely they will, i didn't even think twice about who to tell because i know that i can trust him with my life. Now all i can do is wait, wait endlessly untill we get an answer. Moving over to Australia would mean leaving everyone behind, family, friends, and i don't believe i am ready for that yet. I have been told that we will move not long after i finish school, which will be around April 2010, so that is some time to get my head around the idea and if it goes ahead, i don't know, maybe i will begin to be happy about it all who knows, only time can tell. <33
So, i have decided to start my own blog because life at the moment isn't as easy as expected; "Things are shaping up to be pretty odd." a teenage girl, 5'1, long brown curly hair, average living situations, looking for love and happiness in a world of pure hate.(L)
